Jesus, my hobby

I had been a Christian for about 24 years.
I had been steeped, (steeped) in theological learning, disputing, concentration and basically egotistical inflation for most of those years.
I had been afforded an unsurpassed Biblical education at a top-notch institution, renowned for academic excellence, and had excelled and graduated with honors.

I had a firm grasp on Biblical

interpretation

exegesis

languages

apologetics

systematic theology

polemics

etc...

I was respected as the scholar.

I was not raised in my particular tradition, but had mastered it. And, in my particular tradition, it is praiseworthy to be sharp. It is commendable to know. Actually, it is a goal to know more than anyone else, especially those in other traditions. And to be persuasive enough through knowledge and the science of hermeneutics, (ahem, our hermeneutic), to make converts to our tradition is worthy of applause.

My goal was to:

1) show you how much I knew

2) gain your praise

3) convince you that I am right, you are wrong, (unless I have already converted you, then I am still more right than you)

4) get you to continue to feed my ego

5) wear a cloak of false humility, ("oh, I am just being obedient by using my talents...")

I knew a lot about Jesus.

I could tell you what He wore, what He ate, how He slept.

I could assure you of the words He used to express Himself.

I could tell you what His neighbors were like, what kind of houses they had.

I could paint the historical / political / social picture complete.

I could make you feel like you were there.

I knew a lot about Jesus.

I

just

did

not

know

Jesus.

He was my hobby. Not my LORD.

I was a student. Not a disciple.

He was just facts and history. Not the Living One.

I was empty.

I

was

a

FAKE.

Then, two years ago, something happened.
Something that changed me forever.
Something that I would trade all of my abilities, knowledge and accomplishments for in a heartbeat.

That is for the next post.

I am on a trek. I am on a quest for true discipleship. I am on the way to true release, total dependence.

I am going to record how I got here, and then, LORD willing, record future steps.
I hope someone else is blessed.
I know I have been.

doug-less

P.S. - Don't feed my ego. Be critical.